TearS

Tears flow down my face~ tears of pain or tears of joy
Tears of a grown man or are they the tears of a little boy?

They burn my cheeks, but do the tears of my heart burn?
Years may pass, but still for it my heart continues to yearn

Dreams never die, they just turn into ashes and rise
Tears become Truth when tears used to be lies

Hurt becomes strength~ strength spawns survival
Where weakness meets Strength comes my soul's revival

Tears don't mean you're weak tears mean you're not scared to feel
Tears move things forward where regret makes time stand still

My heart's cup overflows where it used to weep like a willow
Tears dance down my cheeks where they used to fill my pillow

Down on my knees I accepted Jesus but that's been 20 years
It's been a long, hard journey~ my birth that began with TEARS

John Mark Brooks
Copyright April 24, 2013

An Open Letter~ It's Precious

Madison, Karson Faith, Finley, Jordan, Tyklen and Luke, I pray for each one of you every single day. I ask the Lord to guide you, protect you and hold you close. I even clarify that 'hold you close' and tell Him, but not too close because I don't want any of you in Heaven quite yet. *laughs*

But I want you to know how much I love you. Madison and Karson Faith, I've always been Duncle to the two of you and I've always viewed you as my daughters. You've lit up my life from the first moment I held y'all in my arms. I remember them just like they were yesterday! Tyklen and Finley you've been in my life for a year now and I look at you and love you both as mine. I will never try to replace or remove your father; the way I love you, and how I do my best to let the Lord love you through me, is completely independent of what he does or does not do. Jordan and Luke, you are a part of our family now and I love you both. Luke you are the little brother I never had and Jordan we always have a lot of fun picking around with each other.

This letter is for all six of you and these aren't just words on a page. It's what I wish someone would've told me more than they did. It's a hard letter to write in some ways. I already have tears forming in the corner of my eyes. That's how much y'all mean to me, that's how much I wish things would've been different in my own life and how important these words are that I'm about to share. . . words you won't read for at least 10 more years KF, Tyk and Fin.

You ARE Loved

1. No matter how much anyone loves you. Your Mom, your boyfriend, your husband, your family, your friends, your girlfriend, your wife, NOBODY loves you as much as God does. He has loved you and was excited to know you before the foundations of this earth were laid! The Creator of the Universe knew you before you were in your Mothers' wombs and He is completely, totally and forever head over heels in LOVE with you!

You can add up how much those closest to you love you and it's only a drop in an endless ocean compared to how much God loves you!!

In your teenage years, which some of you are in now, you will start searching to find your Love, Acceptance, Worth and Security (LAWS) . . . that's normal. Completely normal. As humans, it's only natural to seek those physiological needs out-- it's the way God wired us. But what I want you to know is try to let Jesus, who lives inside you, fill each one of those. Seek HIS validation and try to start, trust me I know it's difficult, seeing yourselves the way He sees you. You aren't just important to Him. You are the apple of His eye! You are the icing on the cake! You are His most favorite! If you would've been the only person alive, Jesus would have died just for YOU. That's an awesome thought, huh?!?

You ARE Beautiful

2. I'm not just talking to you Madison, Jordan, Karson Faith and Finley . . . although, you'll likely struggle with not feeling 'beautiful' more than Luke and Tyklen, it's still for you boys too! See, insecurities and self-esteem issues aren't limited by gender or sex. No matter what society, and the media, may try to sell you as their definition of 'beautiful' ; I want you to know something-- EACH one of you is BEAUTIFUL . . . beyond measure!! Madison, you ARE beautiful! Jordan, you ARE beautiful! Karson Faith, you ARE beautiful! Finley, you ARE beautiful! Luke, you are beautiful . . . err, handsome *laughs* no, you are beautiful! Tyklen, you are beautiful!

God sees your beauty. He sees your pure hearts. He sees your beautiful minds. He sees your gifts, talents and personalities, which are unique . . . each one of you are different and nonetheless BEAUTIFUL!! Society will teach you being beautiful is about how your body looks or the clothes you wear. It will say if you don't have a flat stomach, you aren't beautiful. If you don't have the perfect figure, you aren't beautiful. If you don't have the biggest muscles, you aren't beautiful. Tyklen, it will tell you because you have a scar that runs from your chest to your stomach, you aren't beautiful . . . NO, that scar is tangible proof God has a mighty and awesome plan for your life-- it shows His faithfulness, and your courage, in the valley of the shadow of death. YOU ARE beautiful just the way you are!

You are beautiful because you are made in God's image, so before we even get to your amazing personalities, your intelligence, your awesome hearts or anything else that makes us love you so much; you are beautiful for that reason alone!!

You Only Get One

3. There are two things I want to tell you: 1. I gave mine away when I was 23. I let the devil and society tell me what was normal and stopped listening to what I knew was RIGHT and the very thing I held so dear and 2. I've never taken a girl or woman's virginity. We only get one of both-- one life and one virginity. Sure, if you screw up God honors our heart, so there is a such thing as a 'second virginity,' but it's not the same.

Imagine how amazing it will be waiting until your honeymoon to give your wife or to give your husband something you have never given anyone. You remained unblemished . . you stayed pure . . you kept your most precious gift and special secret locked away until marriage. How awesome of a thought is that!?!

While I did not hold on to my purity until my wedding day . . . I am grateful for the second thing I shared with you. To you girls, in high school and college, especially, you will 'fall in love' and with all those wonderful feelings of love will come the temptation of giving away your V-card . . . I encourage you not to do it. Is this the ultimate do as I say and not as I did-- it absolutely is. I realize that. But it's because I know the emptiness crossing that bridge before the right time brought me-- all the hurt, all the confusion and all the heartbreak-- that I plead with you not to.

Having held you in my arms as a tender new-born then watching you go from a baby girl, with chubby cheeks, to a toddler, from a toddler to a girl, from a girl into a young lady . . . it sickens me and bothers me when I think about another boy touching you much less pressuring you into doing something he wants, and maybe you want to, but then I remember I've been that 'boy.' I've disrespected my own body and a girl's own body, so I will refrain from ripping his head off!

I can not tell you what to do, but I can ask you to honor God in honoring your body. If a boy says to you, 'If you love me, you will do this.' That's NOT love. He has mistaken lust as love. God didn't give us sex as a gift to be opened only after we're married to punish us . . . He made it that way to protect us-- our hearts, spirits and minds.

Viewing y'all as my daughters, it pains me to think of another boy touching you, but how much more does it pain God? You are His daughters . . . His beloved . . . you are His cherished little Daddy girls no matter how old you are! He is your Heavenly Father and no matter what your relationship is like with your Earthly Father; He hurts when you hurt and there are few hurts bigger than having pre-marital sex.

You are so much more than an object. You are so much more than how your butt looks in a pair of jeans, than the size or shape of your breasts or how your stomach looks! As you start dating, choose someone who will respect you. Choose someone who knows Jesus, through actions, not just in words. Choose someone who lets you walk in front of him, but always opens up your doors. Choose someone who will pull out your chair, pay for your date and walk on the side closest to the road as many good man, or boy, should. Choose someone who encourages you, someone who believes in you, someone who prays for you more than he does for himself! Choose someone who sees you as his equal and not someone who is beneath him. Choose someone who builds you up with his words and not tears you down . . . that is not love!

Your name is not 'hey girl' , bitch, slut, whore or anything else . . . your names are Madison, Karson Faith, Finley and Jordan! Never settle for anything less unless they're calling you baby, sweetie, princess or angel. But never mistake flattery, pretty words that make you feel good and cause your heart to flutter, for sincerity. Always look at his heart! Actions will always tell you where his heart is.

Luke and Tyklen, guys, I haven't forgotten about y'all. Be the boy, and the man, I just described. Do all those things because that's WHO YOU ARE not expecting anything in return. If you're hanging out with your girlfriend always treat her with respect. If she is uncomfortable, don't push her to do more. Don't be a jerk. Don't be a boy, whose views have become warped by what you've seen on TV or movies.  Take it from me, as I was a BOY far too long, it is EASY to be a boy. It's easy to not want to grow up. It's easy to use and abuse girls and women . . . to view them as objects that are simply there to fulfill your desires without even realizing it, thinking it's just harmless fun. It's not.

Read the book of Ruth and see how Boaz treats her and read the Song of Solomon. They provide an excellent, the perfect, blueprint of how to treat a woman. Strive to be a modern-day Boaz. I know you both have it in you! The only way to be a good man is to be led, "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord." Psalm 37:23.

Ladies, I encourage you to read Proverbs 31:10-31. That's the only type of woman you should aspire to be. Not what society tells you in terms of what a real woman looks like and does.

What I Want You to Know

Even if you screw up, after all I did, I will love each one of you the same. God will forgive you and be just as goo-goo, ga-ga in love with you as He ever has too, so don't beat yourself up too much when you 'miss the mark!' You will be extremely special to me nonetheless. Every day I pray the Lord would grow you up to become mighty men and women of God . . . that His plans for your lives will be fulfilled and daily I lift up your future spouse, asking God to prepare the two of you, so that when love awakens you will find your reality to be all you've ever dreamed of and not a nightmare.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of all of you and I appreciate you reading what Duncle, Uncle Johnny, John Mark and Shredder had to say. My prayer is for you to get to know Jesus, that you will wrap yourselves so far up in Him when a boy or girl wants to find you . . . that's where they will have to look.

Thank you for all the joy-filled, fun, sweet, special and priceless moments, for your love, for your friendships! I am blessed to have you in my life. Cling to Christ.

With all my love,
JM