Thursday, October 22, 2009

Is your Rearview Mirror Bigger than your Windshield?

Here's a question for you... is your rearview mirror bigger than your windshield? Meaning are you so busy being held hostage by your past, you can't operate or function in the present and aren't able to move into the future??

How do I feel about 2006: Wow, to be honest with you... it sucked! Lost my little sister to a car accident on June 10, lost my marriage and most that was because of my own doing ( although I never should've married my ex-wife, she is a good woman), lost our dog (to death~ she had cancer, so we had to put her sleep... one of the hardest things I've EVER done) and my brother-in-law died at the age of 46.

All of that made for a rough 2006, but what made all of that & more even harder to deal with is the fact, I quit watering my relationship with the Lord and just liek with any plant when you don't water it (or water it sparingly and without consistency) my relationship didn't die & it never will, but it did wilt and was close to death at times.

I wish I could press reset button especially to redo certain mistakes I made, but then again that wouldn't be life would it? Instead of dwelling on all the would'ves, could'ves & should'ves, I'm choosing to focus on all the awesome things Jesus has in store for my future!!

He promises in Jer. 29:11 & Romans 8:28 that He always has my best interests at heart & I believe Him~ not only do I believe Him, but I now regardless of how much I've shamed myself and failed Him and others (that I love deeply) in the past year, He still is going to use me in an awesome and mighty way!

In my career & in my day-to-day journey we call life, I'm going to rededicate myself to the calling that's on my life! All I ever wanted for my life is to at the end of the day hearing my Lord & Savior say the words 'Well done my good & faithful servant!'

Because that's the closest He'll ever come to telling a lie... the truth is we didn't do that great of a job while we were here on earth (if you look at the times we failed Him & mankind), but covered in His mercy, grace & love, He is able to say that & it is the truth! :o)

I want to hear those words & I want to know the Lord was able to use me to make a difference in thousands of people's lives! I'm NOT concerned with wealth, power or fame... I just want to answr the call on my life in a humble & dedicated manner!

I just wanted to share my heart. I'm looking into the future! I'm believing 2007 will be much more blessed & prosperous than '06 was & I will NEVER let my rearview mirror become bigger than my windshield!

Life is about lessons & I've learned some of the most painful ones I've ever had to learn this past year, but I will take with me those lessons & strength, knowledge & wisdom and become a better man, a better son, a better brother, a better friend & most of all a better disciple!!

Jan. 13, 2007 John Mark Brooks

Walking Away

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away
WE've been through so much~ I really don't know what to say
We climbed the mountain only to come tumbling back down
& although it hurts to say it~ I can't see you come back around

Sure to hold you would be heaven... to kiss you like a dream
You're on my heart so much, I just want to scream
Why do I still reach for you when I know you're not there?
Why do I still smell your perfume & feel my fingers running your hair?

In some ways you touched me in a way I didn't even know exists
Then turn around & hurt me and then I'm cussing~ I'm so pissed
I chalk it up to at least we tried~ damn another lesson I had to learn
So many days & so many ways & now I just have to let it burn?

If we do, can you imagine just how many flames it's gonna take?
I mean how much wood has to burn to undo when a heart breakS?
Seemed like we were so right for each other~ just came along at the wrong time
Close my eyes & imagine us~ that's the only way you'll ever once again be mine

If loving you is wrong, then the truth is, I really didn't want to be right
So, although the flame remains, in my heart there is no more light
I don't even have to close my eyes to be able to hear you call out my name
But the only thing I can do is walk away~ the only way to avoid the pain!

Copyright John Mark Brooks May 12, 2008

Here I Am

Mad, sad, frustrated, discouraged, so full of despair
Sometimes I swear I wish that I didn't even care
Bit every fingernail on my hand down to the very quick
Nothing & yet everything is so wrong, why am I so sick?

Tears flood my face, my heart is overtaken by pure grief
Feels like I'm caught up in the widn & I am just a leaf
Me, the Prodigal, wanders... am I running back to the Father?
This life is SO full of pain & sorrow, why is it that I bother?

Kneeling, falling at your feet, I'm SO unworthy of this pure love
Your touch is so gentle & tender, this life is more like a shove
Continuing to trust & believing for the breakthrough I SO desperately need
Knowing it would've happened much sooner if I would've just let you lead

But how I continue to run this race when so many want me to fail?
When there is no wind on the water, how is it that I continue to sail?
I guess the same way I continue to stand strong even though at times I sway
And I'm crying out with all that's within me, 'Here I am Jesus, have your way!'

Perfection in me simply doesn't exist, but that doesn't mean my faith is insincere
Pull that log out of your eye, before you spoint out my speck, what is it that you fear?
So, here I am standing in front of You, smelling like a pig covered in mud & the muck
Wow, I'm SO thankful for Your grace, You loved me too much~ You simply wouldn't let me get stuck!!

Copyright John Mark Brooks Oct. 2008

In the Drop of a Hat

In the blink of an eye, in a snap, in the drop of a hat
Your whole life can change, or it can be over, just like that
One different decision or maybe just not the same choice
And suddenly, you see Him up close instead of hearing His voice

We think we're entitled or we deserve it; we're not entitled to shi*
One minute on top of the world then the next second you're hit
Walking day-in-and-day-out almost like we're in some sort of haze
It makes me really wonder how much do we REALLY appreciate our days?

I can't say for sure on whether or not we, in fact, cheated death
But I know with all my heart I'm going to cherish my next breath
And the next one and the next one and 1 million breaths from now
I wanna make sure I had a dang good performance when it's my time to take a bow!

I'll have one great Act here then follow it up with one that's no good
Then I'm left wondering if I had it to do over again whether or not I would?
Our minds are set on the future when we're not even promised the next days
How different would my life be if I would just let it instead of being so stuck in my ways?

Almost have to pinch myself just to see if this is a dream or if this is really real
But by the twisted metal, my Mom could've very easily been writing out my will
You can forget about a reality check~ this was more like a whole damn book
From now on, I don't know about you, but I'm stealing EACH moment like I'm a crooK!!

JM Copyright John Mark Brooks June 11, 2008

*I wrote this poem after I was rearended as I was coming to stop by an 18-wheeler going 40 M.P.H cause the driver was on the phone & wasn't paying attention~ Yes, I believe there are angels among us!!*

Realest words I EVER wrote!

I smile. I laugh. I cry.

Tears NO ONE sees though my Savior catches each one that falls down my cheeks.

I nearly went to hell & back to see just how strong my faith is.

I about threw it all away by taking my own life, but I know I'm here for a real reason & that's why I'm still breathin!

Lost my little stepsister Karson (16), lost my marriage, my house, my dog and definitely lost my peace of mind. My Dad & my Stepmom got a divorce shortly thereafter. Then, I lost my Papaw (90), who helped raise me, my little stepbrother A.J. (22), my job after 5 years as a sports writer/editor, had a bad/unhealthy relationship that robbed me of $$$, time & of love, then missed out on the opportunity to become the main writer for the Carolina Panthers' website after making it down to the final 3.

But you know what? I wouldn't change it! The WHOLE journey has made me who I am today.. a REAL man~ one who is not scared to be SINCERE...

One who loves MORE deeply... Lives MORE fully.. Smiles more frequently.. Gives more freely.. Appreciates Jesus MORE day-by-day!!

I am PROUD of who I am, ashamed of where I've been & excited about who I'm going to become!!!

STAY TUNED... & while you may doubt me... NEVER doubt my JESUS!! Just wanted to share my heart, JM

HaterS~ Vaya Con DioS (Go with God) & leave me alone!!

BrokeN

I'm doing well he said, forcing a smile, not meaning a single word
Trust is, he tries to fly with two broken wings, but he's still a bird

Life's been a long, hard road and in some ways it's just begun
He wants his smile to shine so bright, but he can't even see the sun

Choices, losses, death, pain, the storms~ it all floods his mind
Wishing he could change, but it seems like he's running out of time

How did he get here, why did he come & how does he find his way home?
Feels so broken, feels so lost, wandering in the desert, but he's not alone

Only time he feels whole is when memories play through his head like film
For he remembers the little boy, the one with the smile, that used to be him

His eyes betrayed his words as as soon as they jumped off his lip
And if this is reality, not a dream, he really needs to get a grip

Though the rain pours and the winds howl, the sun will still rise tomorrow
That's why he should learn to live again instead of focusing on the sorrow

He's been battered & beaten, his heart shattered & tattered into little tiny pieces
He looks in the mirror, falls to his knees and cries out, 'I need you Jesus!!'

Crumbles to the ground, broken & alone, as he feels Love's warm embrace
Knowing his past is wiped away as he emerses himself in grace!

Copyright John Mark Brooks June 5, 2009

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

WaitinG

Many women show interest wanting to be the lady on my arm
But they don't my heart is taken; I know they mean no harm

In my dreams, a thousand times, I have tasted your sweet lips
Wrapped you in my arms & ran my fingers down your hips

Walked down the road in the pouring rain though it's not happened yet
Holding hands under an umbrella~ don't worry I won't let you get wet

I see me underneath the moonlight, gazing into your eyes
Finding truth in your pupils when in all the others, I just found lies

Us cuddled up by the fireplace while a movie is playing
I can see it so vividly, I wish you would stop delaying

Lying on our backs while overhead the planes are landing
Please hurry up, I just want you here~ sorry to sound demanding

Every time I see a couple, thoughts of you flood my mind
Hoping your trip doesn't take much longer & I run out of time

Writing I love you in a steamed-up mirror, so you can see it when you get out
An once-in-a-lifetime kind of love~ one we've both dreamed about

I know you're riding first-class on the In His Time Express
Just as long as you get here soon, the exact time matters less

A rose here, a letter there & now you're wondering what's next
Opening every single door & starting your morning off with a sweet text

I've got it all pictured, the only thing I'm missing is you
I know you're on your way, but I'm so tired of waiting~ yet, it's the only thing I can do!

Copyright John Mark Brooks March 16, 2009

FREE

I've never claimed to be perfect; never said I was squeaky clean
Youd on't know what I speak of? Peel back your mask, you'll see what I mean
I've slipped & I've fallen, let God down and myself time & time again
In my soul, I know I'm not that person, but yet I've embraced sin after sin
Like a runaway slave, trying to free myself in the middle of the night
But I just stay in these shackles though I really wanna see the light
I want to run, so free and never look back from whence I came
I'm tired of making my soul cry and bringing my life shame
How do I flee when I'm not even sure I really want to leave?
Do I just lay here, forsaking the truth and for my own life grieve?

And a voice spoke to me, 'My child, my child... run as far as you can see!!'
But what about these shackles I cry out! 'My child trust me, trust me!

I will, I will~ run free, run free, run free!

Copyright John Mark Brooks November 20, 2006

Torn

Ripped and shredded, beaten & torn
Hoping I was just asleep & dreaming, wishing I was snorin
My heart is still faintly beating, but it's shattered into pieces
And I'm on my knees, crying out, just screaming the name of Jesus
So many blessings fill my life, so why is it that I am down?
Invisible tears soak my pillow, I really don't want to drown
But yet, I'm swept away by these waves, can't even see the shore
My soul cries out in pain, my mind is tormented, I hurt to the very core
Still, I know where to find comfort, yes, I know where to find peace
Crawling up in the arms of God & just crying is such a sweet release

Copyright John Mark Brooks 2007

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

You Never Know

Even though he was angry, he briefly kissed her face
He go so mad, slammed the door and lef in such haste
She couldn't believe she let him walk away & leave like that
Looking by the bed, it was there, she saw his fitted hat
Running out the door, she tried to catch him as he pulled out the drive
As he pushed the gas pedal down harder, he didn't care if he was alive
Her hands up in the air like, 'Why does he have to be such an ass?'
Him hitting the highway with his best friend being his foot on the gas

It got blown out of proportion real quickly & over such a small thing
Little did she know as he sped away, in his pocket he had a ring
That night he was to ask her to become his Princess, his wife
Yes, that very night they were going to start a brand new life
With the speakers blaring & him rapping along to Lil' Wayne
How did such an awesome occasion become so full of pain?

The breeze blew through the window, he had finally started to calm down
Tears fell down his face, but now he was laughing, there was no more frown
Typed out a couple of words as he rapped along to his favorite song
Such a sweet message, but he looked at the screen just a little too long
Ran off the road going 75 and saw his life flash before his very eyes
How could he treat her like that, how could he believe the devil's lies?

But it was too late, the windshield shattered as he was thrown from the car
As she laid on the bed, she heard sirens & an ambulance from afar
They found his lifeless blodied body, they knew he was young, it was so hard to see
& several feet away, they found these words on his phone, "I'm sorry. I love you! Will you please marry me?'

Copyright John Mark Brooks Nov. 20, 2008

The Sun is CominG

Lightning flashes, thunder crashes, rain falls from the sky
I praised You when it was sunny, so I will not ask you why?
The wind howls, trees fall, it flickers, then the power goes out
Why am I surrounded by pain, by darkness and by doubt?
Water knocks down the door and floods the house; it's up to my neck
Through the valley of the shadow of death; You promised You would protect
Yet I'm still scared, paralyzed by fear~ uncertain of the many things to come
Many unseen tears, my soul is crying~ this storm has made me numb
Numb and blinded, I still praise with all my heart despite this circumstance
For I know before I was even born, just at the thought of me~ You danced!!
Oh Lord, your wisdom is beautiful, so much more than any woman or man
So, in the midst of this storm, I will dance for You, knowing You have a plan
For I know the storm will roll away and the sun will once again emerge
And I will drown, but not in these waters~ in Your love I will submerge
Blue skies, birds chirping, the breeze blowing gently~ I can feel Your touch
You smile because I never stopped praising~ Oh Lord, I love you so much!
When life is hard, when it's bad, through the storms and the rain
I will know the sun is coming and my sacrifice of worship will refrain

Copyright John Mark Brooks Nov. 20, 2006

JESUS

On the corss all my sin was wiped away
I began my new life, before I was born, on that day
My future became bright, like the sun, but I hadn't left the womb
We all got the victory when the stone was rolled away from the tomb
Ceasing never to amaze me, you accept me just as I am or what I become
Only asking in the process, I never forget who I am and where I'm from
Child of the creator, son of the greatest Man to walk the earth
And to think all of this happened before my existence, before my birth
Citizen of Heaven, destined for prosperity, success and fame
You clothed us in righteousness and bestowed on us a new name!
Before I was even imagined, you loved me as your own child
I came into this world & abused you, but still you reconciled
That's true love & acceptance, without conditions... so unlike us
When sometimes we cease to talk to a brother just because of a little fuss
So, I stand here forever grateful... for claiming me, naming me and calling me your son
While my soul longs to hear the words, 'Well done my faithful servant, well done!'

Copyright John Mark Brooks 2006

Please buckle your seat-belts & please observe the non-smoking sign

Passengers you are now on board Flight 320... it's my hope you will be inspired, encouraged, entertained & touched while on board.

I am your Captain... Captain BrookS~ the reason this is called Flight320 is one of my favorite Bible verse Eph. 3:20~ to Him who can do EXCEEDINGLY more than I can ever dream, ask or imagine :o)

It's true... in my life, I have fallen time-and-time again, but through my failures, losses, heartbreak, stress & anxiety~ 1 thing is CONSTANT!!! God shows up & He shows off!!

On this flight, I am believing & asking He do just that through my words... I am just His vessel. I just hold the bat, it's Jesus who hits the homerunS (original quote)

We will be cruising @ 30,000 feet today & we do have the tailwinds behind us. Time of departure is 12:15 a.m. It is Oct. 21st two-thousand & 9.... ETA is whenever we get there, so sit back & enjoy the ride :o)

I know I will! I.G.I.
JM

Dream a Little Dream

Close your eyes. With your eyes closed, I want you to picture your biggest dreams. A tall order for sure. But not only your biggest d...