Get Off My Lawn

Warning— unpopular message ahead. Oh, and one more thing . . . Glad I’m single so, I wasn’t like the millions of boyfriends, and husbands, who got in trouble with their significant other, or even worse got the silent-treatment or cussed out! 😂

J-Lo and Shakira, passionate women, on the biggest stage and, in all places, on South Beach, but . . . 

That halftime show was SHOCKING! It always is, right? After all, that’s what boosts ratings! But as an advocate for women— extremely close to my Mom, my sister and nieces and very close to my Mamaw— and them being treated with respect . . . It was TRASH!! 

I knew the suspects and I knew they were in Miami, so, I expected it to be over the top, but this surpassed even my wildest predictions. 

I thought of ALL the little girls standing in front of the TV seeing the raunchy dancing, the skimpy outfits, more crotch shots than a bar on a crowded Saturday night, performers/singers/dancers, who are extremely talented but who did something that’s sadly become the norm, taking our daughters, nieces, sisters and telling them this— it’s OK to dress like that, it’s OK to show off your body, it’s OK to mimick sex in prime time, it’s OK to show ALL of you and not only show it, but have specific choreography that focuses on backsides and what’s between your legs and, instantly, no matter how much we’ve tried to protect our little girls . . . They were transported to a strip club. I won’t be hypocritical (as I’ve been in them plenty in the past) but as an adult I have that choice and prerogative. But them? They don’t!! 

While I agree J-Lo and Shakira are beautiful, sexy and attractive— seemingly both having found the Fountain of Youth, and while I appreciate the Latina community represented— it made me mad! They are not the problem. Who we have become as a country, and society, is the problem! They are simply a microcosm of that. 

And I honestly felt like we were watching something— the biggest spectacle in the world— that was just shy of pornography. Again, let me reiterate, I understand it’s performance art, but as someone who sees how it affects our little girls, all of whom are impressionable, I was appalled, disappointed and frustrated. 

Did I enjoy their looks, moves and bodies? Honestly, yes . . . But again, adults weren’t the only ones watching! The present, and future are, and, from that standpoint, it simply wasn’t acceptable!! 

Again J-Lo and Shakira are a reflection, like any other award show— a symptom of the sickness— they are not the problem! In terms of just their performance, they rocked it! How do I know our overly-sexualized culture is affecting our youth? Go to ANY dance, or cheer, competition and see their outfits, listen to the music, see how they move . . . They are simply copying behavior that we, as a society, have not only deemed OK but is NORMAL. It’s not!! They are taught the moves on women then we get mad and have the audacity to say they’re trying to grow up too fast or get upset when they wear a revealing outfit, shorts that are too short or or wearing makeup too early! 

I’m not trying to be the old man screaming, “Get off my lawn,” but I listened to the reaction from women at my sister’s Super Bowl party and they felt the exact same way!! 

Full disclosure— I’ve been a womanizer and an objectifier, of women, in the past  . . . and still struggle with being naughty, engaging in pictures and text conversations I shouldn’t— All facts I’m NOT proud of, but it’s not about me, or any other adult, it’s about this: we can’t champion the #metoo movement . . . we can’t call out sex trafficking, rape and other horrific treatment of women,  but not have the courage to say, “This is NOT right” even if those words sound a lot like, “Get off my lawn” in this day and age! 

But the reality is this— the more we let the lesser things slide, as acceptable, the greater likelihood the bigger things become more likely to happen!! As a believer, and follower, of Jesus, I faced a serious tug of war watching them perform— flesh vs. spirit, the old me vs. the new me, the immature boy vs. the man I’m trying to become and while I lost that, at times, during the 30-minute performance . . . I repeatedly said out loud, “This is ridiculous! Little girls should NOT be seeing this.” They should not be susceptible to these images. It was, in many ways, degrading. The one fitting aspect of the show was the stripper pole— that was apropos for what we were seeing!  

Franklin Graham, Billy Graham’s son, who started Samaritan’s Purse, said in America it seems we have always done a good job of protecting our children, in prime time time-slots, and that it could be slipping away. I say this. Shakira’s hips don’t lie . . . Just like the fact we’ve already lost the battle on television, in movies and in music, so it’s IMPERATIVE, we teach our sons, daughters, nieces and nephews the RIGHT way to treat girls and women and how, as girls and women, they should expect to be treated!! I’ve always been challenged when I read: “Close your eyes and think how you’re treating your girlfriend or wife— is this the way you would want your daughter, niece or sister treated?” In reality, sadly, I haven’t always been able to say yes. 

We should teach them to open doors for girls, be respectful, walk on the side closest to the sidewalk, pull out chairs, call not text, send flowers, write love notes, pray for, lead, cherish and pursue as the rib God created them from as equals to walk beside and yet to be protected and made to feel valued! We need to teach our girls to expect this or like I tell my nieces, “Find somebody who does!!” 

From the playground, as children, girls are taught if a boy likes you, he will be mean to you! That’s simply a lie that transcends, and translates, into adulthood. That’s why so many women fall for jerks, bad boys and a-holes, while the nice guy finishes last! Sadly, it’s a lesson that sticks with them, but what if we taught them something different? 

I’ve always taught my nieces their value doesn’t come from what grades they make, how popular they are or what clothes they wear no more than their validation comes from how pretty they are or what their body looks like. While TV and movies push a certain image— have to be skinny, beautiful and air-brushed— I’ve taught them they are already validated, and have infinite worth, based on the fact God sent His Son Jesus to die for them. Because they have been taught beauty comes from within, “That God made only ONE of you in the whole wide world” they don’t have to keep up with Joneses, what they see in magazines, the internet or television, because they are BEAUTIFUL just as they are! It’s my hope since they already have that validation, and love, that they won’t seek it in boys, but later find it in their husband.   

In world, that this is now normal, we must teach our little girls to swim mountains and climb oceans and walk to the beat of a different drum . . . In other words let’s teach them to be DIFFERENT, go against the crowd, and as they get older, that their worth is not found in what a boy thinks of them, or in their bodies, or what they look like, but in WHO they are! Let’s teach them to follow God when everybody else is following the crowd! Let’s make sure they know they are WANTED by the KinG is the Universe, and wanted by us, that they belong, in world that tells them they are mainly wanted for their bodies! 

I’m not saying I’ve treated girls, and women, perfectly, because I have enough failed relationships to plainly say I haven’t. Hope you agree with this—But if not, I’m content being the OLD, grumpy man screaming from the front porch, “Get off my lawn!”

As long as someone hears me!! JMB 

**I’ve been very candid about being a sex addict, and admitting my short comings, I fully-acknowledge that, but this was a message I felt led to share. Hope, at the very least, it challenged the way you think about some things. I’m not saying parts of me didn’t enjoy them, because I did. I won’t BS anybody when it comes to that. They are HOT!! But this was about something much bigger than simple entertainment. That’s the message I’m trying to relay. The aforementioned was NOT just about a 30-minute halftime show, as as parents, we can simply not let our kids watch it, if we deem it inappropriate (simple solution), but I was hoping to evoke thoughts of the bigger picture and bigger issue. Perhaps, they could put a rating up at the beginning of the awards show, or halftime show, to help parents make a more informed decision about whether their kid should watch it. Final thought— we act, and present, ourselves as whores . . . How can we ever embrace the fact we are princes and princesses??