Ocean of REGRET

I’m crying this morning. Why? I didn’t know Mia Stokes, who at 18-years-old, died in a car accident last night. Although I did meet her, her sister Mallory and her dad Eric, one night at a Hornets’ game, I didn’t know them,  but my hearts hurts for them and I’m crying because of how much they hurt and remembering my own hurt of similar losses.

See, I have a BIG heart— always have, but I live with SO many regrets!! All the wish I would’ves, could’ves and should’ves; I carry them daily. I have forgiven myself, but the scar tissue stays with me like gum on the shoe of my heart. ALL the times I wish I made the time, all the words I wished I said, all the memories I wish I would’ve made . . . It all makes me vigilant moving forward.

ALL of that is gone, evaporating over the moments of time’s tapestry, but there is a blank canvas I receive daily to speak Life into people, to love and serve them, to make sure they know how I feel about them and to make time for the people who really matter to me . . . After all, without sacrifice, there can be no LOVE!

God made me an ENCOURAGER!! Other than obedience, and trying to fail Him less, part of why I go the extra mile to send texts, prayers, words of encouragement, make that visit, is I want LESS regret movinG forward! Damn, I carry enough on my back as it is. I don’t want to add to it!! If I had a tear for every time I felt remorse, I would have an ocean!

There are SO many things I would do over if I could— off the top of my head . . . I would’ve spent more time with Mamaw (even though I spent a ton of it) even though she wouldn’t remember, I would’ve worked with Papaw in the garden more, helped Buddy build things in the workshop, gone to see Buddy more, especially when Mom was gone on a trip, but I could do that when he was older, right? Right!?! I would’ve texted, called, or MySpaced Karson the 6 months God told me to— laying it on my heart in bold fluorescent letters! I would’ve treated A.J. with more patience and love, even though he was an annoying teenager. I would’ve gone to see my Uncle Bobby even though I literally thought what was the point since he’ll be dead soon. I would’ve told my childhood best friend Jonathan I loved him even though in high school guys simply don’t do that! I could go on and on and on and on about ALL the regrets that eat at me like I’m a continual meal . . . I wish I could do SO much over!!

But I can’t, so I do what Hebrews 12:1-2 says . . . I focus my eyes on Jesus and run the race He has in store for me! I won’t always get it right, but I own my failures but not my successes— they belong to Jesus 🙏The marathon— remember, it’s not a sprint—Continues!

Young people, and of all ages, that’s what I would say: Make time for that visit, send that text, let them know you’re praying for them n there for them! Live each day with GRATITUDE and SERVE! You never know when your time is uP or their’s and you don’t want to have regrets of not doinG!

Don’t be too busy with LIFE that you forget to LIVE!! I’m a firm believer in this . . . People make time for the people, and things, that are important to them! If they love you, and want you in their lives, they will make time for you plain and simple. But, as humans, we don’t always . . . Do we! Sad, but true. Now, I do my very best to do just that!!

Some 💩 seems IMPORTANT— at the time— and it’s really not at ALL! Ask God to give you guidance, discernment and PERSPECTIVE about what and WHO really matters! I’m willing to share my PAIN for it to be your LESSON. I can’t force you to learn it— that decision comes down to you! It’s my HOPE this makes you think, challenges you and maybe even prompts you to pick up the phone to text somebody or call someone you love . . . I didn’t always do that— see for yourself.

Read There’s Always Next Year on my blog—

http://jmbrooks17.blogspot.com/2012/11/theres-always-next-year.html?m=1