In the FlameS . . .

I feel very good about where my life is . . . spiritually, my relationship with my family & inner circle, my personal growth and maturity, along with where my heart is~ honestly, it's and I have never been better! The exciting thing for me is through submitting to Christ & learning how to give Him Lordship over my life. . . I am experiencing more freedom, peace, happiness & joy than I ever have! I am only 32 & I am getting pretty good at this thing called life!

The biggest area of growth & improvement is learning how to be less selfish, embracing Christ's heart of servanthood & adopting it as my own!! I, truly, long to be the arms of the Body of Christ & of Him Himself~ I want to do more with my time, my gifts, my talents, my intelligence, my money & resources.

In some ways I wish I could completely erase the past 10 years . . . similar to a rehabilitated inmate, I simply wasn't ready for the freedom that thrusts itself on me after college. The devil's arms were opened wide & he resembled a long lost friend. I ran as hard & as far as my little legs could to take me away from the Father. . . it's just a blessing I didn't do more heinous/vile/terrible things than I did. Oh, there have been PLENTY of times my actions didn't reflect someone who knew Jesus at all~ there is no doubt about that & I have done many, many things I am far from proud of!

But at least I didn't defile my body & break God's heart more than I did. . . I am grateful for that. Would Paul have ever become a bold, unapologetic believer/disciple if he never was Saul, so in some ways I believe my 'prodigal son' behavior was necessary in becoming who I've just started to be!

Another area I would like to improve in is empathy. . . it's not that I don't hurt when I see hurt in someone else's eyes or hear hurt in someone else's voice, it's just I want to hurt more! I want my reaction & genuine, heartfelt words to help them carry whatever emotional load that is threatening to cripple them or even worse crush them!! There are so many people who are hurting, lost, have floundering souls and/or lives. I want to meet people right smack dab in the middle of their pain/deep sadness, speaking words of hope, words of truth & words of life into their life, their situation and predicament!!

I know I do not have all the answers, but I am SO thankfuL I can point them to the ONE who is Not just the way-maker. . . He is the way. . . Not just the truth-teller. . . He is the truth. . . Not just the restorer of our lives. . .He is restoration. . . Not just the intimate lover of our souls. . . He is LOVE!!

No I do not have a wife. . . Not married and have not realized one of the biggest dreams of my life~ that of being a father/Dad and I am 32, feeling like life is slowly slipping through my fingers, but I know just like Elijah was prepared at Cherith. . . I am being prepared and until I am ready, and even more so when He wants these desires to come to fruition & these dreams to be realized, trying to make them happen is laboring in vain!

Another area He has revealed to me I need to improve in my pathway to ultimate peace, joy contentment & gain greater discipline in is controlling my emotions. Too often I am a ship too easily tossed about the waves when I have not the bestower of peace, but He who IS PEACE! I react instead of doing what He has implored me to do~ just BE STILL!!

I have the victory! I have the resurrection power inside me! I have, not only the ability but, the innate tendancy to OVERCOME anything the devil or this sometimes cruel life can throw at me!! I MUST walk in it!

I have been put through the flames. . . not to be consumed by them, but to be refined~ may my flesh be burned up, incinerated until ALL that remains is Christ! I want to be surrounded/engulfed in flames 'til NONE of ME remains! As a believer, I can expect to be 'under the knife' . . . until the work He started in me is completed (Phil. 1:6) I will be on the table. In fact, even if it's uncomfortable, HURTS & is extremely painful, I want it!! As the deer paneth for the water, so my souL/my spirit-man desires that!

See, we may be under the scalpel, but our Surgeon has the same hands that not only hung the stars, but knows them by name! The same hands that carved the mountains, filled the streams, rivers, lakes & oceans!! The very same hands that placed the sun/the moon, in the sky, is performing my surgery! If that isn't exciting/amazing news. . . NOTHING is!

Those nail-pierced hands are taking out of me sin, lust, junk, selfishness, pride, hurt, envy, feelings of inadequacy, poison & death and is replacing it with humility & the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control! AMAZING!!

Just like Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego. . . We have the fourth 'Man' in the furnace, so we can be rest-assured ANY flames allowed in our lives are not meant to destroy us. . . but to test our faith & refine us! It is never a comfortable thing to be in the flames, but as sure as oxygen is needed to breathe~ it is necessary! Not only are we refined, but it's in the furnace where we develop a deep dependency on Jesus. . . it's in the flames God shows us He not only can handle, but WILL handle whatever is going on in our lives. . . it's in the flames, we discover our strength is NOT enough. . . That the devil and the storms this life can throw our way are too much to withstand on our own sufficiency!

But for the blood! God, the King of Kings & Lord of Lords, fights for us & works endlessly & tirelessly on our behalf. . . especially in the flames! In the flames our waves of doubt are washed away & THE Maker proves Himself to us as omnipotent, omniscient, ALL-capable, lacking NO wisdom, as He is wisdom. . . without Him, wisdom would be foolishness! Yes, in the flames. . . it's where we say jump & God who loves us so much that He, who is awesome, proves to us how HIGH He can jump even though He isn't obligated to. . . remember, He is the Potter we are clay pots!

Our doubt turns into the Lord's own personal trophy room of faithfulness! So, bring on the flames. . . He allows us to doubt, because He knows our faith WILL be strengthened. . . in the flames!

On our spiritual peaks, we easily are filled with gratitude. . . but without the valleys, we would never fully grasp the sweetness of being on top of the mountain! A peak is a hug from God's mighty, love, inpenetratable arms, but the flames. . . they are the sweetest kiss we will ever know~ a sweet, soft, loving, passionate, tender kiss from the lips of God!!!