70 x 7

Now I just laugh! How could I not? It seems like every time I am out to eat lunch I see him.

Who is him? The man who was primarily responsibile for losing my job four years ago and have yet to fully recover from. The first handful of times I would see my former publisher out, I didn't speak. I was not consumed with anger or ill-will toward him, but I was reluctant to speak . . . I had not forgotten much less forgiven.

Yet, time after time, these encounters would continue to happen and one day when the Lord spoke to me and told me to talk to him; this time I listened.  It was awkward, and I did it begrudingly, but nonetheless I spoke. I didn't carry on a conversation with him. It was just a "How are you," and I kept it moving. But when I reached the parking lot to leave, I felt lighter, I felt more freedom and the chip I had carried on my shoulder was no longer there.

To give you a little background information, before I was 30 my career was off on the right foot and ahead of the curve. I had been a sports editor for the county newspaper, the one I grew up reading as a kid, for five years and it seemed like the sky was the limit. Then crash, pow, boom-- with the subtlety of two freight trains crashing into each other-- I was being thanked for the great job I had done and being fired the very next breath.

Talk about tough! So much resentment, so many thoughts of why it happened, so much hurt and frustration. And the timing? Couldn't have been worse . . . right at the beginning of the greatest recession our country has ever seen since the Great Depression. So for two years, with a college education, I searched for a job to no avail. This man had not affected my life, he had come through like a tornado, leaving devastation in its wake.

How Many Times Should I Forgive My Brother or Sister?

"Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.' Matthew 18:22.

When Peter asked if he was to forgive someone who had wronged him seven times; that was Jesus' response. If we're honest though, it doesn't even take multiple offenses for us to throw our hands up and be 'done'/over a relationship. Sometimes just once when someone hurts us badly, betrays us and causes so much destruction, through a choice they make, we no longer want to have anything to do with them.

A perfect example of this was when a young man, through the recklessness of driving crazy, killed himself at the tender age of 16, taking my little step-sister with him. You may say . . . that's different-- it's easy to forgive someone who is no longer alive. Is it? Honestly, it's one of the hardest things I have EVER done. See there are no more birthdays, we didn't get to watch her high school graduation, go to college, get married and have kids. Only tears.

One 'bad' decision, made through the misconception he was invincible since he was a teenager, completely wrecked lives and robbed us of something we will never get back.

But the thing about carrying unforgiveness is-- it continues to rob your joy, continues to wreak havoc on your life and strangles your heart so that you can't extend mercy, grace and love in the way you were purposed and created to do. Carrying grudges attaches you to the hurt and pain where forgiveness RELEASES you from it-- those chains are no longer there! When we refuse to forgive someone, it does not punish the offender as much as it punishes ourselves. It takes away from OUR lives not their's!!

Lewis B. Smedes wrote in his book, Forgive and Forget, "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but discover the real prisoner was yourself."

When you think about it . . . isn't that an awesome privilege to be able to set someone free by accepting their plea for pardon through extending the same type of forgiveness the Lord Jesus extends to us on a daily basis!?! And there aren't many more humbling acts than asking for forgiveness when you know you were in the wrong and when you were completely oblivious to the fact, or in some cases the perception, you hurt someone.

Speaking to the young man, through the Spirit, I forgave him. Not because I was supposed to do, or because it was the right thing to do, but because that's what pleases the Lord. It was NECESSARY. Forgiveness changes a period into a coma. The sentence (your life) marches on. Many turn a traumatic experience into an exclamation point and give up on life. An exclamation point on the final sentence and after the final word of their life. That's a lie from Satan himself. Like Tupac said, 'Life goes on.' There is MORE to be written in your book (life)!

Yeah, but I Don't Have to Forgive!

You're right. The choice is yours, but before you make that choice. Here are some wise words on the subject.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

and one that will really blow your mind-- Matthew 6:14-16.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

It's CRYSTAL clear what we are to do when someone hurts us, so why don't we?

An Update

My career still hasn't gotten back 'on track,' and it may not, but I letting God direct my paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). In the meantime, two years ago, I was blessed with a position as a proofreader, which can only help me improve as a writer, hone and increase the talent I've been given and ALL for His glory!

About eight months ago, my hours got reduced (drastically-- from 30 to 12) at work, so it's been very frustrating. Who knows how many tears I've cried over my 'work' situation. Here I am with a college education, intelligent, cooperative with many gifts and talents to match a positive attitude, and I have yet to even get an interview.

But in the meantime, I'm thankful for money I had saved and my Mom/family who have supported me financially, spiritually and emotionally. Several months ago, I started tithing. I will not say what I tithe, but it's more than 15 percent. I don't tithe to get blessed. I tithe because of James 1:7-- EVERYTHING I have has come from God, so I'm just giving back to Him what He gave me and doing so cheerfully.

God promises us He will bless us when we tithe (Malachi 3:10) but anyone who tithes with that being their primary reason for doing so is tithing with the wrong motives. For even if they are blessed, in terms of money, they are missing out on the FULLNESS of God.

So I'm trusting! Yes, I get frustrated at times because I'm human. I cry, doubt, I hurt, I wonder, I get mad . . . all of that, but I KNOW it's not a matter of IF God is faithful-- God is faithful! Like my Dad says, 'The sun don't shine on the same dog all the time.'  My ship will come in and when it does it won't be because I deserve it . . . it'll be because God can, will and does exceedingly more than anything we can dream, ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-- why my blog is named Flight 320).

I ask you to forgive me for any way I have wronged you, from the bottom of my heart, for any small things I've done and the times I've screwed up majorly and I want you to know, if you feel there is any issue between us . . . I FORGIVE YOU!

Life is too short-- live, love, laugh, give (L3G) believe, pray and forgive!