Marching Around the Walls

When I was given the choice of resigning or being terminated I didn't think much of it. Sure it was disappointing, but with a good resume, solid work to showcase and my charismatic personality, I wouldn't be out of work long.

Then days became weeks, weeks become months and before I knew it months had turned into a year and then two. At times I was very pro-active in my job search and other times, because I hadn't even had so much as a sniff, I wasn't at all. It was a vicious cycle. The more I heard nothing . . . the more likely I was to just sit on my butt and not do anything to try to find a job.

Frustrated, sad, ticked off and way past discouraged; I would often cry before I went to sleep and sometimes during the day as well. When was something going to work out. Finally, I got a breakthrough! As I signed the acceptance of my job as a proofreader, I was ecstatic . . . so much so that when my boss walked out of his office to make a copy of it tears rolled down my cheeks. My tears of sadness had become tears of joy-- what a blessing!

Then a year later my 30 hours got cut. "No big deal," I thought. Then weeks later, bam, they were cut again. After the third cut, which cut into my spirit just as much as my hours, I was left with 12 hours! Almost back in the same boat as before.

Only this time I was more determined. Fifteen, 20, 25 30 applications. Phone calls made, cover letters sent, emails in their inboxes. Going to indeed.com had become a staple of most of my days. NOTHING. Arrrrgggh, it was happening again. I felt like God had put me right on the verge of the Promise Land and now here I was back in the desert. Over the course of several months, I had one interview and it went extremely well, but when they informed me it may only be for 10-15 hours per week; I was not interested.

Do You See Me God?

Many nights I cried myself to sleep. Some may say that's soft, but I just felt like it was all hopeless! Even though my Mom had been my life-jacket financially and rescued me from drowning; I was drowning emotionally.

I continued to pray, kept tithing more than 10 percent every Sunday and kept believing a miracle was on its way (it just was stuck in traffic). I found hope, direction and the strength to endure in my Bible readings and in my worship: in the car, here at home and at the gym, as set after set kept me sane and served as a good release.

In other words I kept marching . . . just like Joshua.

I knew God saw me. I knew He was catching each tear I cried (Psalm 56:8), but it really didn't feel like it. But my Dad told me, "Son, when things are still and it seems like nothing is happening that's when God is doing the most work behind the scenes. Hang in there." I was hanging, but with frustrations building within me, with my girlfriend and my family . . . it was only by a thread!

They all were praying along me, and wanted the best for me, but saw nothing happening. The worst feeling was it wasn't due to lack of effort. I was doing my part. I was putting my feet to the pavement and beating down the proverbial bushes. Still NOTHING. Mad enough to scream, sad enough to tear is how Eminem said it in "Rock Bottom" and that's exactly how it felt.

My girlfriend had two separate conversations with me meant to light a fire under my butt. She knows my potential and could see me not realizing it . . . not when it came to a job or realizing my dreams as a writer. The first conversation did exactly that. The second one, which took place several months later, served that purpose, but each word were like fiery darts with each striking my spirit and hitting my heart. I was a wounded warrior. Not a victim and she wasn't the bad guy. I just had no answers for her. I knew her words were said out of love and draped in encouragement in a 'tough love' sort of way, but I was just as fed up as she was.

I just listened.

And while I did, through the tears forming in my eyes, I silently cried out to God. I deeply love this woman and if I EVER lose her; I sure as heck don't want it to be because of something I had little control over (as all you can do is your part). Please help me Lord! You aren't just the Way-Maker; You are the Way . . not just the Truth-Teller; You are the Truth . . not just the Life-Giver; You are LIFE. I believe.

Despite any evidence; I continued to believe. Isn't that what faith is!?!

YOU ARE born to fly!! By Teena Griffin and John Mark Brooks

I have had this butterfly picture for weeks. I knew that it would be given to you eventually, but today is the day I awakened feeling it was time to give it to you! I am slowly learning that when the Holy Spirit prompts me to do something, I do it even when I don't understand why! I also feel I should share with you the importance of the butterfly in my life.

The Change

The butterfly has always been a beautiful creature to me. However, in the last few years (especially the last seven months) I have come to really appreciate the true beauty of the butterfly and it's more than what it is on the outside. The butterfly hasn't always been the beautiful creature that flits and flutters for all of creation to enjoy. It was once a caterpillar that was often overlooked and sometimes even squashed! Many caterpillars never even make it to the butterfly stage! However, some do.

When they begin to go through "the change" it is a dark and painful process. They are literally encompassed in a dark cocoon. Maybe to the caterpillar they think their life is over. Maybe they want to give up. Maybe they think they have no hope. OR maybe they realize they are surrounded by darkness and things have to get better. They don't know what lies around the corner, they just know that it is in their heart not to give up even when it seems they have literally been buried alive. It is in their darkest moments that they realize that God has given them heart to fly. (Even though they don't have a clue what that means.)

Eventually, they begin to emerge from their darkness with a new hope and resolution. It is a difficult process and they are still so weak and frail, but they know what their Creator has created them to do and they refuse to give up hope. Once they have emerged, they are so excited! "I have wings. I can fly. I can do this!" Until they hear that small voice say, "Be patient. It's not time."

Not Time to Fly~ Time to Dry

The butterfly has to go through a drying process. Their wings aren't ready for them to use. Eager to do what they were created to do, they are halted once again by their inability. Again, they have to be patient and wait on their Creator. And finally the time comes!

What the Father Comes to Say

Our Heavenly Father looks at the butterfly and says, "It is time for you to be what you were created to be. The beautiful creature that you have been all along! Now, fly butterfly, fly!"

What an AMAZING story of the butterfly and the Creator! However, the story doesn't end there. The average adult butterfly only lives two weeks and in those two weeks they have to travel thousands of miles when they migrate. But they never stop being the creature they were created to be. They don't lose their focus by worrying about the little time they have left as a beautiful butterfly. They do not stress on the difficulty that they will have in their lives.

 Tattered, but STILL They Fly!

Their wings may become tattered because of another insect or animal preying on them, but STILL THEY FLY! They may fight the winds that blow against them, but they still fly. They do not know from moment to moment what their lives hold; all they do know is their Creator told them, and made them, to fly-- so they fly!

Thank you for taking the time to read the story of the butterfly and why it's important to me. I hope it touches your life as much as it has touched mine! You are loved. GRACIE @HisGraciE

Teena Griffin

~~~~~ Why this story meant so much to me~~~~~

I was broken. My spirit was broken, my heart was broken, I felt abandoned and alone. I couldn't even listen to words of encouragement without crying . . . because I didn't feel I deserved them and because they touched me so deeply. This story, along with looking at the picture, was something I read numerous times because I knew then what I know now-- I was CREATED to fly!!

It doesn't matter how long I was in the cocoon . . . it doesn't matter how long it took for my wings to dry and it certainly doesn't matter how long my life is-- ALL THAT MATTERS is the Creator has told me to fly, so I WILL! The picture and her heart-felt letter both meant the world to me. A dear friend and member of my family, as she is my Dad's, twitter handle @CowboySpirit, fiancee, had taken the time out of her schedule to speak AWESOME, powerful words of life (Proverbs 18:21) into my life and that was not something I took lightly or take lightly as I read this story!

During that dark point in my life, they came over to my house and encouraged me through investing time, energy, effort and love in me through telling me they believed in me and that ultimately I was going to be OK! They helped get me through the tunnel.

See, you can take this to the bank. You can always count on a few things: death, takes, that Jesus loves you and how FAR God can take SMALL acts/steps of obedience. In this case, His words, through Teena, mended my broken heart and spirit. They didn't make everything instantly OK, but they gave me something that had long been missing . . . HOPE. They were the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. When you are in the tunnel; you feel alone, desperate, not worthy, frustrated, disenchanted, but when you see the light . . . praise God when you see the light, then you have HOPE, you have comfort, you have faith everything is going to be OK!!

Any time, we are obedient and any time we speak words of life, vessels of positivity, into someone else's life . . . we provide that light! What an amazing thought and profound truth-- how great an honor!! So today, help someone else fly-- you may not have known this until now, but helping someone else fly is part of YOUR FLIGHT!

"The quickest way to realize your own dreams is by helping someone else reach their's." @BishopJakes T.D. Jakes

I've Broken Them All

The next time you think you on a spiritual mountain top, I encourage you to think of The Ten Commandments. That's a great idea, you say, it's always good to mentally-review the checkpoints that helped you reach the summit. How can you appreciate the peak, to the fullest extent, if you don't first look back, and reflect, on how you arrived there.

You know what? That is exactly the the polar opposite reason I'm asking you to reflect on The Ten Commandments. Few things, in my spiritual walk, have been as humbling as going through The Ten Commandments not to see how many I have obeyed, but to count how many I have broken.

Guess what I found? I have broken EVERY SINGLE ONE-- that's right, the holy and sacred directives God gave to Moses . . . I was GUILTY of breaking them ALL!!

1. You shall have no other gods before me-- there have been many times in my life, I've elevated family, friends and things onto the throne of lordship of my life. GUILTY.

2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image, or any likeness that is in Heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bown down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love me and keep my commandments. GUILTY.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.

It's not something I've done many times in my life, but I remember in middle school when I would get real mad . . . I would say God damnit-- something now that is one of my biggest pet peeves when I hear it, along with Jesus Christ, Christ, God, swear to God, etc. I hate hearing my Savior's name taken in vain, and used in ANY way except ways to honor Him, revere Him and exalt Him, but you know what? I've done it myself! GUILTY

4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is within them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

I don't know about you, but there have been many times I've done yard work or the duties of my job on Sunday, so without a shadow of a doubt . . . GUILTY

5. Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

There have been WAY too many times, I've disgraced myself and my parents through disobedience-- disobedience to the Lord, disobedience to them and disrespect to them. GUILTY

6. You shall not murder.

When I stumbled upon this one . . . I thought FINALLY, I found one I haven't committed, but . . . the reality of it is if we commit the sin in our minds; it's the same as actually doing it, so much to my chagrin I found myself in a familiar place. GUILTY

7. You shall not commit adultery.

The old me did this on more than one occasion. Not something I am proud of, but something I have learned from. Cheating on your wife or messing around with someone who is married leaves you feeling one thing and one thing only-- empty! GUILTY

8. You shall not steal.

We often think of stealing as in possessions, and while that's true, there are other things you can steal. Not using your potential, squandering minutes, hours, days, weeks, that is stealing from the Lord and stealing from YOURSELF. I'm sure I stole things when I was a little kid, and I've definitely robbed God through not tithing and through throwing away days. In either case. Once again . . . GUILTY

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Although I pride myself on being honest with people, it would be a complete and TOTAL lie if I said I haven't lied in the past, don't lie presently (try not to) and will lie in the future. Am I a compulsive liar, or habitual one, no I'm not, but I definitely have been a liar in my lifetime: to God, to myself and to others. GUILTY

10. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife; nor his manservant; nor his maidservant; nor his ox; nor his donkey; nor anything of your neighbor's.

A PERFECT, or in this case IMPERFECT 10 for 10, I've coveted what other people have a lot! In recent years, I've tried to do a better job concentrating on the blessings that do fill my life vs. focusing on the things I don't have, but it's very easy to focus on everyone's little red bouncing ball instead of being content and grateful for what you DO have! GUILTY

That's a WHOLE LOT OF GUILT, but here is the GREAT NEWS God loves me and sent Jesus to die for my sins (past, present and future ones). He did the same for YOU! I think God made these Ten Commandments so easily broken to show us, while he appreciates obedience, loves hearts after His own and wants the best for us, one thing: we are SINFUL. That's not a copout, and I believe we shouldn't abuse grace, but it's the truth. We as humans just don't get it right all that often. We are easily led astray, deceived and many times chase the 'wind' more than we chase after the Lord.

I AM INNOCENT!

God paid a debt He didn't owe and one we could not pay when He sent Jesus to 'give us a way out' and reconcile us to Him. That's way past AMAZING!

"God sent His Son not to comdemn the world, but to save it!" John 3:17.

I don't need anyone to tell me what a fake, sinner, hypocrite I am, or have been, because I already know. If I could've saved myself; I wouldn't have been in need of a Savior and wouldn't need one now!

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." Ephesians 1:7 Hear that!? REDEMPTION.

Or Ephesians 2:13.

"But now you who were once far away have been brought near by the blood of Jesus Christ."

It doesn't say if you are addicted to drugs stay far away . . . if you are addicted to sex . . . stay over there . . . if you are a drunk . . . cheat . . . a liar . . . a thief. . . if you've been locked up-- NO praise God ALL, who want it, are brought near by the blood of Jesus! That's awesome!

Don't tell me God can't change a person. I used to be a SEX ADDICT. . chased satisfaction and instant gratification in many forms with many types of women. . was into porn-- the whole nine yards, but it's been over a year since I've had intercourse.

In that time span, I fell back in love with the most beautiful, inside and out, woman I've ever known. I've never respected someone as much, found someone to be so insatiable, been more attracted to someone, thought someone was as sexy and never desired someone the way I desire her. Her spirit, her mind, her body and her heart are some of the most beautiful sights I'll ever see, so you can imagine between my love for her, the attraction I feel toward her and my human needs how great the temptation is! But those doors will not darkened until our honeymoon-- not necessarily because that's what I want, but because my desire to please the Lord overrides, and trumps, what I want. God can, and WILL, redeem you! If you will let Him. He took a whore, that's how I treated myself at times, and has made him pure once more!!

The chains of addiction can BE broken if you come to Jesus. You don't have to keep losing battles you could be winning, but ONLY through God's strength!

Finally look at Romans 6:23.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

We ALL deserved death-- that's the BAD news! But the unbelievable, yet true, news is we ALL can receive eternal life. It's my hope, belief and prayer you will see NOTHING DISQUALIFIES YOU FROM COMING TO JESUS!!

You don't come to Jesus cleaned up; you come to Jesus to get cleaned up. Won't you come to Jesus?

Read this prayer if you want to ask Jesus into your heart for the first time or if you want to recommit your life to Him:

God I confess I am a sinner and can not free myself. I ask you Jesus to come into my heart as my Savior. Forgive me of my sins and help me forgive those who wrong me. Lord from this day forward guide me, protect me and bless me all for your glory. Keep me safe from the Devil and give me strength. AMEN.

Whatever You're Willing to Give Me

A young white man was working the window at the soup kitchen of Christian Ministry on a cold, rainy and dreay day. It was his first day taking orders, working the window, although he had darkened the doors of the refuge of hope many times before.

"Meat loaf, mashed potatoes, corn, greens, gravy and bread is what we have today," he said to each person who just wanted a warm meal.

Most people would simply say, "Give me everything," or "Give me everything, but" . . . until Eli asked the familiar question to one of the 100 people in line.

"I'll take whatever you're willing to give me," the disheveled man, in his 40s with a beard, said.

The words ROCKED the young volunteer! "I'll give you EVERYTHING," the young man excitingly said as he whispered to the two other volunteers serving up his food, "Load him up!"

Tears came to his eyes-- how grateful an attitude clothed in the utmost humility. The rest of the hour quickly passed, but those eight words remained etched in his head, echoeing in his heart and stirring his spirit. So to did the conversation Eli had with the soup kitchen director Melissa. "If that doesn't touch something deep inside you something is wrong. You really need to check yourself," he said. Melissa, with a heart as big as the kitchen itself, agreed, telling Eli, 'You hear those types of stories all the time but they never lose their effect," she said.

"It's good to be on this side of the window. We are blessed."

The man, whose name is Tommy, smiled as as he received his food from Andre, an 18-year-old black youth with a baby face with a snapback Chicago Bulls hat perched on his head-- a high school graduate, from a small town, and talented musician with dreams of making it big.

Tommy took what looked like just a loaded-up plate of food to the naked eye, but to him was a full-blown feast, to a crowded table in the eating area and sat down beside a couple, just struggling to make it, he didn't know.

He closed his eyes to pray and when he did his heart was flooded with gratitude.

. . .  Jesus, I've only known you for a couple of weeks, but I was told you provide this delicious food we are eating. I just want to say thank you God. Use me today to make someone smile. I don't have a job, and am living in the shelter, but it could always be worse. Thank you for protecting me! (How do I end a prayer he thought to himself) That's right-- Amen! . . .

No sooner had he said amen than the 5-year-old girl, flanked by her mom, spill her whole glass of tea all over Tommy. The mom grabbed the little girl by the arm and in a hateful tone said, "Go wait outside! What is your problem!?!"

"But Mom, it's raining," the little girl replied, "and it's cold."

"I don't care. Go!"

Tommy just smiled before thoughtfully and calmly saying, "It's really OK. Accidents happen and I don't mean to step on any toes, because y'all are her parents, but please let her stay in here."

"Fine, just don't let it happen again Gabby! I mean it," the mom said.

The little girl just smiled, a smile that will light his darkest of days for weeks on end in the days ahead, and grabbed Tommy's hand. 'Thank you.'

Tommy smiled and just said, "My pleasure," as he hurriedly finished his meal as it was five minutes 'til 12:30 p.m. when the kitchen closes.

There was a homeless shelter nearby and as the unseen Hand would have it Tommy ran back into the same couple with Gabby in tow.

Standing in line, the husband noticed Tommy behind them as his wife asked how many beds were available. The answer was three and then they were going to be at capacity.

"Great," the woman said.

"It'll be me, my husband and . . . " Before she could finish the sentence.

"Baby, I'm going to stay under the bridge," her husband said. "Let him have the last bed," pointing to Tommy.

Tommy didn't know what to say. No words could adequately express his thanks, so he just smiled, "I deeply appreciate it!"

"I think you should stay with your family though," he said to the husband.

"No, really I insist."

"Well thanks again," Tommy said as his 6-foot-2-inch frame entered the doorway.

Meanwhile the young volunteer pulled into his driveway where a two-story home awaited him with all the food he needed. Though his girlfriend Elizabeth had just announced she needed a break to find healing after her fresh divorce, and though he was burdened by his hours being cut at work and the fact 25-plus job applications had turned up nothing; he felt better about his life than he ever had. He had JOY . . . He was completely trusting in Jesus. Sure he still wants to be with her and her two children, and still desperately needs a job, but he had finally surrendered his will to the Father's and in doing so had found FREEDOM.

"I'll take whatever you're willing to give me," those words played like a grand marquee through his head.

Young Eli, in his early 30s, bowed his head.

"Make me more like Tommy. Teach me to be content with whatever you're willing to give me! I know all things work together for my good (Romans 8:28) and that your plans are to give me a great future (Jer. 29:11), so please make me more like Tommy. Tommy knows you will never give him rock when he asks for bread. I know that too. In in the precious blood of the Lamb I have prayed. AMEN and AMEN."

That young man is. . . ME.

Money Matter$

Seven.

As soon as that number hit my eardrums; I felt as many emotions as rainbows have colors! I was puzzled, shocked, saddened, surprised and I was mad!

In a worldside assessment of all Christians, just seven percent tithe the Biblically-mandated 10-percent or more! SEVEN!! What?!? This can't be.

Don't believers think of that number-- 7. As in the number of days the Lord gives them per week? Each day is a blessing, a gift, it's not something that's guaranteed or anything we've earned-- it's what God so freely gives us.

Then I think of seven again. Our health, family, friends, a place to live, a job, food and water . . . seven blessings that fill our lives. Yet we show no thanks?

Father forgive us for we know not what we do . . . actually, we do, but we seem not to care!

Seven . . . as in James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift comes from above."

If this is true, which it is, is anything truly ours? Are we not just entrusted with being a good steward of all of it?

"How Long Will you Rob from Me?"

Other than disobedience, is there anything worse than stealing from God? Before you think I'm crazy for saying that; consider Malachi 3:8-12.

"In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse-- your whole nation-- because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "And see if I will not throw open the floodgates of Heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be enough room to store it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your field will not drop their fruit before it is ripe," says the Lord Almighty. 12 Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a very delightful land," says the Lord Almighty.

TEST ME IN THIS! Those FOUR words are INCREDIBLE to me . . . it shows, while complete in His power and sovereignty, He is humble enough to say, "If you don't believe me . . . I'll prove it to you!" WOW. Humble and approachable enough to declare, "I'll put my money where my mouth is." God is under no obligation to answer to us although we often act like He is. Does SEVEN sound like we are taking Him up on His offer?

Did you Know?

Sure you know our church receives our tithe when we place our money or check into the offering plate on Sunday, but did you know what happens with our tithe at the exact same time in Heaven? Jesus, the One who died for us, receives it and presents it to His Father (God) -- Hebrews 7:8-- when you truly wrap your mind around that; you will no longer look at tithing as something you 'have' to do or are required to do (Deuteronomy 14:22, or just to get blessed, "That the Lord your God may bless all the work of your hands (Deu. 14:29), but will instead view it as the awesome privilege it is!

So What's Stopping Us?

One word-- Mammon that's what stops us from cheerfully giving back to the Lord as we are instructed to (2nd Cor. 9:7). See Mammon, as I learned through the Bible and Robert Morris' book, "The Blessed Life," wants us to find our security and identity in money. It's that spirit, which Jesus warned us about in Luke 16:13, that encourages us to look to money as our solution instead of to our Provider (God).

The last thing the Satan wants is for us to find our identity in Jesus, to share His love through our resources to those who are less fortunate and for us to help grow the body of Christ, so it's him, through Mammon, who places doubt in us that God will forgive. We think things such as, "But I need this money to pay my bills, I'll do it next Sunday, man, this is my money, I'm self-made and if I have money left over after I pay my bills."

One of the coolest aspects of tithing is it's a TRUST thing. Without trust you can not have much, if any, of a relationship. When we give the Lord our first fruits (the first 10-15 % of our paychecks) we are demonstrating two things: 1. We TRUST Him enough to provide and 2. That He can TRUST us enough to give us more through multiplying our riches--both monetary and spiritual ones (Luke 16:10). But when we cling to our money; we are being poor stewards and show we would rather put our trust into something tangible instead of the Lord.

My Challenge

The Word encourages us to pursue riches . . . but not earthy ones, Matthew 16:20-21 "Store up for yourself treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Like my pastor Mike Devine says, you can reverse the order of that sentence too . . . "Where your heart is, there your treasure will be."

My challenge is for more of us, my brothers and sisters in Christ, to trust the Lord IS who He says He is (Dennis Green voice when he coached the Arizona Cardinals) even when it comes to our precious money! Focus on Him, trusting Him and being rich in the things that truly matter: reflecting His glory, sharing His love and letting Him direct our paths. See there is nothing wrong with money, and being successful, and what it represents being A motivation, but when it is THE MOTIVATION we are showing while we may be rich in terms of money we are proving we feel it's a bigger treasure than the Lord Himself.

So get money, get paid, get quap, but when you do, remember whose hands from which it fell and give it back to Him. Because if ALL your chase is the money, even if you get it, you might just lose your soul in the process!


Please check out these two websites, which contain excellent Spirit-breathed information on tithing and I encourage you to read "The Blessed Life" by Robert Morris.
http://www.goodgroundfamilychurch.org/Sermon/Breaking_the_Spirit_of_Mammon

http://www.bellviewbaptistchurch.com/Tithing.htm

In Awe

Holy God I am humbled, I truly stand in awe of you
I look for the Son when the world tries to hide my view

You never give me a rock when your son asks for bread
So I'm simply asking for Your hand and that I may be led

You raised these dry bones up and then You gave me life
That's why I'll praise You no matter the pain or strife

People want to bring my past up, cast stones and make these allegations
I'm just trying to tell them about You~ the King of Kings and the Lord of Nations

I'm in awe of Your ways and the love You continue to extend
When at times I treat You like an enemy and not my best friend

Lord I give You praise after all look at what You've brought me through
In Christ the old has passed away-- you've made this creature new

Broken all 10 Commandments with my hands or in my mind
So I'm thankful for Your blood how you died for all mankind

Though I know chasing anything other than You is just chasing after the wind
That doesn't stop me from chasing it til my feet are tired then chasing it again

I'm so in awe of You my King; I'm so awed by Your grace
Give me strength to live for You and to always seek Your face.

JMB

Copyright John Mark Brooks Dec. 29, 2012

70 x 7

Now I just laugh! How could I not? It seems like every time I am out to eat lunch I see him.

Who is him? The man who was primarily responsibile for losing my job four years ago and have yet to fully recover from. The first handful of times I would see my former publisher out, I didn't speak. I was not consumed with anger or ill-will toward him, but I was reluctant to speak . . . I had not forgotten much less forgiven.

Yet, time after time, these encounters would continue to happen and one day when the Lord spoke to me and told me to talk to him; this time I listened.  It was awkward, and I did it begrudingly, but nonetheless I spoke. I didn't carry on a conversation with him. It was just a "How are you," and I kept it moving. But when I reached the parking lot to leave, I felt lighter, I felt more freedom and the chip I had carried on my shoulder was no longer there.

To give you a little background information, before I was 30 my career was off on the right foot and ahead of the curve. I had been a sports editor for the county newspaper, the one I grew up reading as a kid, for five years and it seemed like the sky was the limit. Then crash, pow, boom-- with the subtlety of two freight trains crashing into each other-- I was being thanked for the great job I had done and being fired the very next breath.

Talk about tough! So much resentment, so many thoughts of why it happened, so much hurt and frustration. And the timing? Couldn't have been worse . . . right at the beginning of the greatest recession our country has ever seen since the Great Depression. So for two years, with a college education, I searched for a job to no avail. This man had not affected my life, he had come through like a tornado, leaving devastation in its wake.

How Many Times Should I Forgive My Brother or Sister?

"Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.' Matthew 18:22.

When Peter asked if he was to forgive someone who had wronged him seven times; that was Jesus' response. If we're honest though, it doesn't even take multiple offenses for us to throw our hands up and be 'done'/over a relationship. Sometimes just once when someone hurts us badly, betrays us and causes so much destruction, through a choice they make, we no longer want to have anything to do with them.

A perfect example of this was when a young man, through the recklessness of driving crazy, killed himself at the tender age of 16, taking my little step-sister with him. You may say . . . that's different-- it's easy to forgive someone who is no longer alive. Is it? Honestly, it's one of the hardest things I have EVER done. See there are no more birthdays, we didn't get to watch her high school graduation, go to college, get married and have kids. Only tears.

One 'bad' decision, made through the misconception he was invincible since he was a teenager, completely wrecked lives and robbed us of something we will never get back.

But the thing about carrying unforgiveness is-- it continues to rob your joy, continues to wreak havoc on your life and strangles your heart so that you can't extend mercy, grace and love in the way you were purposed and created to do. Carrying grudges attaches you to the hurt and pain where forgiveness RELEASES you from it-- those chains are no longer there! When we refuse to forgive someone, it does not punish the offender as much as it punishes ourselves. It takes away from OUR lives not their's!!

Lewis B. Smedes wrote in his book, Forgive and Forget, "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but discover the real prisoner was yourself."

When you think about it . . . isn't that an awesome privilege to be able to set someone free by accepting their plea for pardon through extending the same type of forgiveness the Lord Jesus extends to us on a daily basis!?! And there aren't many more humbling acts than asking for forgiveness when you know you were in the wrong and when you were completely oblivious to the fact, or in some cases the perception, you hurt someone.

Speaking to the young man, through the Spirit, I forgave him. Not because I was supposed to do, or because it was the right thing to do, but because that's what pleases the Lord. It was NECESSARY. Forgiveness changes a period into a coma. The sentence (your life) marches on. Many turn a traumatic experience into an exclamation point and give up on life. An exclamation point on the final sentence and after the final word of their life. That's a lie from Satan himself. Like Tupac said, 'Life goes on.' There is MORE to be written in your book (life)!

Yeah, but I Don't Have to Forgive!

You're right. The choice is yours, but before you make that choice. Here are some wise words on the subject.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

and one that will really blow your mind-- Matthew 6:14-16.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

It's CRYSTAL clear what we are to do when someone hurts us, so why don't we?

An Update

My career still hasn't gotten back 'on track,' and it may not, but I letting God direct my paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). In the meantime, two years ago, I was blessed with a position as a proofreader, which can only help me improve as a writer, hone and increase the talent I've been given and ALL for His glory!

About eight months ago, my hours got reduced (drastically-- from 30 to 12) at work, so it's been very frustrating. Who knows how many tears I've cried over my 'work' situation. Here I am with a college education, intelligent, cooperative with many gifts and talents to match a positive attitude, and I have yet to even get an interview.

But in the meantime, I'm thankful for money I had saved and my Mom/family who have supported me financially, spiritually and emotionally. Several months ago, I started tithing. I will not say what I tithe, but it's more than 15 percent. I don't tithe to get blessed. I tithe because of James 1:7-- EVERYTHING I have has come from God, so I'm just giving back to Him what He gave me and doing so cheerfully.

God promises us He will bless us when we tithe (Malachi 3:10) but anyone who tithes with that being their primary reason for doing so is tithing with the wrong motives. For even if they are blessed, in terms of money, they are missing out on the FULLNESS of God.

So I'm trusting! Yes, I get frustrated at times because I'm human. I cry, doubt, I hurt, I wonder, I get mad . . . all of that, but I KNOW it's not a matter of IF God is faithful-- God is faithful! Like my Dad says, 'The sun don't shine on the same dog all the time.'  My ship will come in and when it does it won't be because I deserve it . . . it'll be because God can, will and does exceedingly more than anything we can dream, ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-- why my blog is named Flight 320).

I ask you to forgive me for any way I have wronged you, from the bottom of my heart, for any small things I've done and the times I've screwed up majorly and I want you to know, if you feel there is any issue between us . . . I FORGIVE YOU!

Life is too short-- live, love, laugh, give (L3G) believe, pray and forgive!